When You're a Caregiver ...

I have been Mum’s “official” caregiver for the last 30 years or so. I have never really thought of it as a “job” but as part of my daily routine but I must admit it is an emotionally challenging task demanding lots of patience and sacrifice, not to mention the many moments of stress and anxiety which go with it!

Fortunately Mum is a very plucky woman, having sailed through 90 years of trials and tribulations, which included a traumatic experience three years ago when she fell, banged her head and subsequently had to have major surgery. Thankfully, God has been kind to us and we hope we shall continue to earn His grace in the future.

But what I am really concerned about is the lack of help readily available when a crisis occurs in the family like in our case where family members are not resident in Penang and are scattered all over the globe. I remember at that time in 2008, we had to resort to employing part time nurses to take care of Mum. They came in the evening, stayed the night and left the next morning. We were at their mercy and they of course cost us quite a bundle! Later, we managed to get two temporary maids and finally settled for a Cambodian maid on a two year contract. She was a very nice girl but could hardly speak a word of English. When I was unexpectedly hospitalized, I had to leave Mum in her care. I spent two anxious nights in hospital wondering what was going on at home!

I think caregivers should get together one day, sit down and try to see how we can help each other. Apart from sharing experiences and tips on elderly care, we could also recruit a group of volunteers who can be available to people desperately in need of help for their loved ones. The pre-requisites are of course a kind heart, plenty of love and patience - and a cheerful smile! Anyone interested??

Caregiving is a trying labour of love but it does have its rewards. There is nothing more satisfying than to see a bright smile on the face of someone who has been receiving your love and care or to see her eyes light up each time you come into the room. And the best place to begin your caregiving journey is your own home – caring for your parents.