Life is full of surprises and it was an unfortunate surprise which landed me in hospital during the first week of January. It was a horrible start to the new year. I started throwing up from about 2.30 a.m. till the early hours of the morning. By the time I got to A&E, I had left behind a trail of dirty, plastic bags full of "yuk".Everybody thought I had food poisoning but it turned out to be something else - a post-operation problem (that's another story). The doc said that if I was lucky, the problem would clear by itself, otherwise an operation would be necessary. I was really too tired to comprehend what it was all about, so I drifted off to sleep, come what may ...
I was put on the drip for more than a week. I was completely starved of food of any form. A big sign on top of my bed screamed "Nil by Mouth". My tummy kept growling and rumbling and I craved for my favourite Milo. Later on, I was fed intravenously with huge bags of nutrition to keep my strength up. In addition, my poor body had to suffer x-rays, ultra sounds and a CT scan.
To cut a long story short, I eventually progressed to sips of water, fluids and hurray, a soft diet. Of course all along I was worried sick. I was discharged after about two weeks in hospital. Yes, I was lucky this time but the words of my doc that there is no guarantee it would not happen again were a frightening reminder.
Looking back, I guess every cloud has a silver lining, as they say. I had been having a variety of "room mates" during my long stay in hospital and it was my third room mate who gave me a rare insight into what I had been reading about in Buddhist books.
She was brought in quite late on a Monday night, I remember. She was a heavy, old woman in her eighties with a voice louder than thunder. She too had had a bout of vomiting and as the nurses put her to bed, she was moaning "kiew miah" (literally translated, "Save me" or simply "Help!"). They tried to make her as comfortable as possible and left her to sleep. I was also trying to sleep and just as I was drifting off, I was jolted from my sleep by a loud "kieh miah" followed by several more. It was most irritating. I tried my best to shut off my ears but by the 10th "kieh miah", I was seething. I rolled over to her side of the curtain and hissed menacingly ... ssshh! But that didn't stop her.
As I lay there frustrated, something suddenly clicked in my mind. I was being very selfish and unkind. The poor woman was probably scared out of her wits, maybe thinking that she was going to die. I should pray for her, I told myself instead of being angry. Remembering what I had read about loving kindness, I started to radiate loving kindness to her. I had never done this before and I was surprised when after about 10 minutes, she quietened down and fell asleep.
Wow! What a great experience that was! In due course, I too fell asleep. For the next few nights, I did the same thing, radiating loving kindness. Well, to be frank, sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. Maybe I was not doing it right all the time. Anyway, I learnt another valuable lesson - something I had been reading about too - just let "it" (the source of your anger or irritation) ride over you like a wave washing over your body. I was surprised I was able to fall asleep when my neighbour was still moaning away!
Incidentally, one of my new year resolutions is NEVER to be sick again. I shall have to work hard on this one, that's for sure.. And oh yes, I've added a new reso - spread lots of loving kindness to everyone!
Have a great new year!
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